By Gonny 
You’ve read the books. You’ve listened, reflected, practiced, forgiven, observed. You’ve questioned your thoughts, watched your reactions, softened your judgments. You’ve done what seemed to be asked of you.
And then suddenly, something inside whispers:
“I’m tired of trying to wake up.”
And that can feel confusing. Because wasn’t this path supposed to bring peace?
What often goes unnoticed is this:
Even the search for truth can quietly become a doing.
A subtle project of the mind, a refined version of “I need to get somewhere.”
It sounds spiritual. It looks sincere, but underneath, it can still carry the same old tension:
I am not there yet……And that… is exhausting!
There is a soft honesty in admitting this. Because the moment you see that even your “spiritual effort” has weight, something begins to relax.
This is often the point where a deeper shift becomes possible, a quiet falling away of the need to become anything at all.
It’s almost humorous, in a gentle way.
You spend years trying to arrive…and then one day you realize: The one who was trying was the only thing in the way.
So what now? ……. Nothing spectacular.
You don’t have to stop reading, or practicing, or sharing, but something changes in the tone. Less effort. Less pressure. More space.
More kindness toward yourself !
You may still have thoughts. You may still forget, react, judge….but the seriousness around it begins to dissolve.
Like an actor who suddenly remembers they are on a stage.
They may still play the role, but something inside is smiling.
And maybe that is where true gentleness begins, the quiet realization:
Nothing real was ever at risk… and nothing needed to be forced.
So if you find yourself feeling a little empty, a little uninspired,
even a little tired of the path itself…
It might not mean you’ve lost something. It might mean: you’re being invited to finally stop carrying it.
And just… be.
With love and light,
G.