By Gonny 
You know the feeling: you join a group—maybe a spiritual community, a circle of friends, or a work environment—and at first, it feels like home. Everyone understands each other, the atmosphere is warm, and it feels safe. But over time, you notice unspoken rules. Expectations. And before you know it, you’re entangled in something you didn’t even realize was a web.
Spiritual groups often aim to help people grow. But sometimes, a subtle form of manipulation creeps in, keeping you tied to them. Not through harsh words or threats, but through disappointment.
“Oh, you’re not coming to the next session? The group will miss you…”
Sounds innocent, right? But beneath the surface, the real message is: “If you stay away, maybe you won’t belong anymore.”
You feel it in the looks, the silences, the words that cut a little too deep. “We thought you were further along than this.” “You’re letting us down a little.” It makes you feel like you’ve done something wrong when, deep inside, you know: I have the right to choose. Don’t I?
ACIM teaches that true love is free. No expectations, no obligations, no guilt. Just love. Manipulation, no matter how subtle, is always rooted in fear: fear of being abandoned, fear of not being good enough, fear of making a mistake. But as the Course reminds us:
“Love lets go. Fear holds on.”
Leaving a group you were deeply involved in isn’t easy. Not because someone physically stops you, but because it feels like losing something precious: a sense of belonging. But true connection can only exist in freedom. If you have to stay out of fear or guilt, it’s not love—it’s a cage with soft cushions.
How do you break free?
Listen to your feelings. Do you feel free and happy in the group, or is there subtle pressure? Remember that love never controls. If a group or teacher makes you feel small, something is off. Dare to let go. This doesn’t mean rejecting others—it means choosing your own path.
Looking back on such an experience can be painful, but there’s also a gift in it: you’ve learned how valuable freedom is. And honestly? We’ve all fallen for this at some point. Maybe not in a spiritual group, but in friendships, relationships, or work cultures. The key is to recognize it, forgive yourself, and move on with a smile.
Because the only real call you need to follow is the one from your own heart.
With love and light,
G.
(Take a look on the webside: nullity.nl