By Gonny Sometimes I read a post or hear a student of ACIM say:
“I keep asking for a miracle, but nothing’s changing.”
“I ask the Holy Spirit for help, but I feel no peace.”
“Others seem to get miracles… I just get silence.”
And then underneath that, there’s the quiet ache of a deeper thought:
Why bother?
Why am I doing this if it doesn’t even seem to work for me?
Let me start by saying: if that’s where you are right now…I get it.
And more importantly: you’re not alone.
In fact, I know that place very well.
Even after years of living with A Course in Miracles as my compass, I’ve had moments…or seasons, to be honest…where I found myself thinking, “Well… this doesn’t seem to function at all.”
Especially around forgiveness.
I would sincerely ask the Holy Spirit to help me forgive.
I’d invite Him in, I’d do the lesson, I’d breathe through the trigger… and then….boom…it would happen again.
Same irritation. Same thought loop.
Same person pushing the same old button.
And after weeks, or even a year of this, I’d think: Okay, this must be broken. Or I am.
Nothing seemed to shift. Nada. Rien. Niente.
But here’s something I slowly came to see:
Just because nothing appears to change, doesn’t mean nothing’s happening.
The Course isn’t a spiritual vending machine where you insert a lesson and expect instant peace in return.
It’s more like a deep inner retraining of how we look, how we respond, how we think, and that kind of shift often happens quietly, almost invisibly, until one day you notice: Wait a minute… I didn’t collapse into fear this time. I didn’t attack. I didn’t run away from the discomfort. I actually stayed with it.
And that? That is a miracle.
I know it doesn’t always feel that way, especially when you’re hurting and just want some real change…not another explanation.
You’re tired of waiting. Tired of trying.
Tired of feeling like you’re doing all the inner “work” while life just keeps throwing you more obstacles.
And then you might start comparing:
That friend had a breakthrough.
This person had a mystical vision.
And you? You’re still stuck in that same situation, with the same prayer hanging unanswered in the sky.
But maybe…just maybe…that stuckness is where the miracle is trying to reach you.
Not by fixing what you see, but by undoing what you believe.
The Course promises peace, yes.
But not the kind of peace that depends on the world playing nice.
It offers a deeper peace, one that comes not from the world, but in spite of it.
And that kind of peace sometimes only starts to emerge when we admit that we don’t feel it at all.
When we stop pretending that we’re “advanced students,” and simply say:
“This hurts. I feel abandoned. I feel angry. And I don’t know what to do with that.” Fall on your knees, surrender, cry if you want, shoud, let everything you feel : BE !
That’s not failure.
That’s honesty.
And honesty, in this path, is gold.
The Holy Spirit doesn’t wait for you to be positive.
He’s not checking your lesson completion rate.
He meets you exactly where you are…in the chaos, in the numbness, in the confusion.
He’s not impressed by how spiritual you sound.
He’s sitting beside you when you scream into your pillow or ask the question no one wants to say out loud:
“Is this even real?”
He is there…..Quiet…..Unshaken.
Not asking you to perform, just asking you to let Him love you even in your mess.
Especially in your mess.
There’s a line in the Course that always brings me back:
“You need do nothing.”
Not because there’s nothing to heal, but because healing is not your job.
Your only job is willingness.
And if all you’ve got today is the willingness to say, “I feel lost”,
that’s more than enough.
You are loved.
Even here. Especially here.
So let’s not try to make it all make sense.
Just take a breath, and go with the flow.
With love and light,
G.