By Gonny The third obstacle to peace: the attraction of death (C.19.IV.C)
This one takes us deeper. The first obstacle was about the wish to get rid of peace. The second about making the body our idol. And now we come to the third:
The attraction of death.
Attraction to death? Yes, and that’s exactly what makes this so difficult to look at. It’s not death in the physical sense that the Course is talking about, not the moment the heart stops. What it’s pointing to is the ego’s secret love affair with non-life. With endings. With decay. With drama, destruction, conflict, sabotage, and suffering ….both subtle and loud.
The Course calls this ‘strange’ devotion.
Why strange? Because on the surface, no one walks around saying: “I love death!”
But… we do love judgment.
We feed on drama.
We cling to grievances.
We glorify suffering, sacrifice, victimhood, and heroic defeat.
We worship the cross instead of the resurrection.
And slowly, slowly, our inner light grows dim behind a veil of shadows.
This is what the Course means by “death.”
Again…not biology, but the mind’s dedication to everything opposite of life, joy, connection and truth.
To fear instead of love. To guilt instead of innocence.
To control instead of trust. To separation instead of unity.
The ego tells us: “Guilt is power. Suffering is noble. Loss is inevitable. Life will hurt you….prepare for it.”
And if we believe that voice long enough, we end up building our identity around a shadow.
But here’s the good news:
The shadow has no power. It can’t kill the light. It can’t touch what’s real.
“And yet a shadow cannot kill. What is a shadow to the living?” (T-19.IV.C.2)
When we see through the illusion, when we recognize that the attraction to death is simply our fear of truly living, of shining, of being fully present, then we can make a new choice. We don’t have to kill off joy to feel safe. We don’t have to sabotage our own peace to stay in control.
This third obstacle is not an accusation. It’s an invitation.
An invitation to look with love at all the places where we’ve turned away from life and to remember we can turn back.
We can say: “Holy Spirit, I must have decided wrongly. I want another way to see this.”
And life rushes in again. Not the life of the body, but the living presence of love.
So if you find yourself stuck in despair, self-judgment, drama, sabotage, or even boredom, don’t be afraid. You’re not being punished. You’re simply brushing up against an old thought system that doesn’t believe in life.
And guess what?
You don’t have to believe it anymore.
With love and light,
G.