By Gonny 
During the months of the Covid lockdown in Italy, the world suddenly became very small.
We were not allowed to leave our homes except to buy food.
Those who had a dog were allowed to walk it within two hundred meters from home.
I had no dog.
But I knew my body needed to walk…to breathe, to move, to feel the fresh air.
So every evening around nine o’clock, when the world was quiet and the sky still held a little light, I sneaked out and walked.
I live in the countryside, where no one really checked, yet I always walked with a subtle alertness… What if someone stops me? What will I say?
When a car passed by, my heart beat faster…as if I were guilty of something.
One evening I wanted to walk a little bit longer, but I had to pass a road with more light, and the fear of being caught became clearly palpable.
To give myself courage, I whispered simple words: “Jesus, are you walking with me?”
And then it happened…I clearly felt a hand slip into mine: warm, strong, familiar.
I knew: I am not alone. I am safe.
And then something extraordinary unfolded.
It was as if a vast funnel opened above my head, and through it poured the whole of humanity…every face, every heart…flowing inward as one river of Light.
In that instant a sentence echoed clearly inside me:
“Man woman I am.”
It wasn’t about gender.
It wasn’t about the body at all.
It was the recognition that in Spirit, there are no opposites, no halves to complete.
There is only Wholeness , the single heartbeat of creation.
In this world we appear divided, male and female, yet in the Light we are neither.
We are the same essence, dressed in temporary forms, learning to remember our shared origin.
And in that remembering, fear disappears.
The hand we hold is our own and it is His.
Lately I am working on a new project for our website nullity.nl: a comparison between the sayings of Jesus as recorded by Thomas and the teachings of A Course in Miracles.
When I reached the very last saying…number 114…I suddenly remembered that walk during the pandemic. It came alive again within me.
Thomas wrote:
<< “Simon Peter said, ‘Let Mary leave us, for women are not worthy of life.’
Jesus said, ‘I Myself shall lead her, to make her male, so that she too may become a living spirit resembling you males.’”>>
In that moment, the words opened like a door, and I understood what Jesus meant.
It is not a call to change form, but to transcend form…to rise beyond polarity into the stillness of pure Being.
It is the same message that echoes through A Course in Miracles:
“You are not a body. You are free.”
In Spirit, there is no male, no female…only the shining Self that holds both within Itself, perfectly balanced, perfectly whole.
The masculine and the feminine are not opposites but movements of one Breath, one Creation, one Love.
When I think of that walk now, I smile.
The road is dark, the fields silent, the stars scattered like soft lanterns in the sky and somewhere in that quiet night, Jesus walks with me still, whispering through the wind:
“Man woman I am.”
“One Self, one Light, one Love.”
With love and light,
G.