By Gonny 
Many years ago, I spent a lot of time assisting in family constellations.
And I still remember one particular session, where a man came forward with something fragile and brave: sexual performance anxiety.
Not just a vague discomfort, but a sharp, private fear:
“What if I fail in intimacy?”
He spoke gently, with a hint of shame.
But what emerged in that sacred space was not judgment,
not diagnosis, but something deeper:
a longing to connect, to be seen without needing to prove, to feel safe.
The constellation revealed a quiet truth: the problem wasn’t physical.
It wasn’t about technique….it was about pressure.
When sex becomes a performance, the body turns into a stage, the partner into a judge, and the soul quietly steps into the wings.
But beneath the fear is a longing…not for perfection, but for communion.
A longing to speak without words.
From the perspective of A Course in Miracles, our true Self is guiltless.
There is no failure in truth, only the ego’s fearful storytelling.
And even that story can become a doorway…
if we choose again…if we choose love.
Because when intimacy is seen as a test, the heart clenches.
The body stiffens. Every move becomes calculated and the sacredness slips away.
But if we shift the lens, if we see sexuality as a conversation between souls,
a “glorious communication”…everything softens.
Then even a trembling touch becomes holy. Even silence speaks.
And “mistakes” become part of the dance.
And here’s something rarely said aloud:
Even when the body doesn’t “work”, even with illness, pain, aging, or limitations…this kind of intimate “holy communion” is still possible.
Sometimes more than ever, because presence doesn’t require performance.
And love doesn’t depend on friction, duration, or flexibility.
Psychologically, sexual anxiety is often rooted in the belief:
“If I’m not perfect, I’m not enough.”
And where better for that belief to show up than the one place we are literally naked?
But that’s also why honesty heals. Speak it…name it…bring it into the light.
And in that light, the shame loosens.
In loving presence, the tension fades, and where tension fades… intimacy breathes again.
A Course in Miracles reminds us that every fear is a call for healing
and that we can, in any moment, choose to see with the eyes of love.
So if the thought is: “I might fail,”
Love replies: “You are already whole.”
The man from the constellation wasn’t broken. He was simply carrying a belief that love had to be earned, that intimacy was a pass/fail exam.
But that day, we watched him unlearn. He spoke from his heart.
He remembered something truer. That he didn’t have to prove anything.
And neither do you.
Because love is not earned.
It’s not measured. It cannot be graded. It is your natural state.
And when fear melts…what remains is presence.
What remains is communion. What remains is love… soft, radiant, and free.
With love and light,
G.