By Gonny In A Course in Miracles, “True Empathy” isn’t about nodding sympathetically while someone talks, and it’s not about plunging into their pain as if you could fix it. It’s about joining them in the quiet space in the mind where peace is already there… even if, on the surface, everything feels like chaos.
That’s the theory. But in daily life? Most of the times empathy is needed when someone is dealing with raw emotions..
Maybe your friend calls in tears because her partner just left. You feel her sadness in your own chest. Or you see a colleague in the car park, staring at the steering wheel long after work is over, and something in you aches. Sometimes, supporting another person stirs up our own unfinished stories.
The ego sees emotions as proof of danger…”If I feel this much, something must be wrong.” ACIM invites us to see them instead as signposts, pointing to where we’re still holding on to a fearful thought system. Sadness, anger, guilt, defensiveness… they’re all signals. They say, “Here’s where the ego thinks it’s in charge.”
True Empathy doesn’t deny the feeling…it notices it without making it the boss.
If we’re with someone else’s pain, we can silently remember: “This is not who they are. They are God’s beloved, untouched by this storm.” And if the emotion is our own, we can remember the same about ourselves.
That doesn’t mean we shut feelings down or hide behind “everything is perfect.” It means we allow the feeling, but we don’t let it drive the car. We hold the steering wheel together with Spirit.
And yet… sometimes we lose our grip.
The feeling is so strong… grief, anger, fear…that it sweeps us off like a current. We realise too late that the emotion is driving, and we’re sitting in the passenger seat, watching it speed through old familiar roads of reaction.
When that happens, it’s not failure. It’s simply a sign that we’ve forgotten, for a moment, to ask for help. The Course is very gentle here: we can always take the wheel back…not by force, but by remembering we’re not alone in the car.
Even if we’ve already “driven” into tears, defensiveness, or even snapping at someone, the invitation is still the same: pause, breathe, and hand the keys back to Spirit. “I can’t see clearly right now. Drive for me.”
Sometimes empathy is as simple as saying, “I hear you,” and meaning it. Sometimes it’s just sitting quietly, holding someone’s hand while the tears come… theirs, yours, or both.
Think of it like sharing an umbrella in the rain. You can’t stop the weather, but you can make sure no one walks alone, and you can remember that blue skies are inevitable.
So when you find yourself face-to-face with pain, whether it’s a stranger in a checkout line, your oldest friend, or your own reflection…don’t try to erase the feeling, and don’t crown it king.
Stand beside it, heart open, and remember: the truth of who we are is never in danger.
That’s not being a “non-feeling robot.” That’s being a bridge.
With love and light,
G.