LOVE

Love… that magical word. We write songs about it, make movies about it, cry, laugh, yearn, and lose ourselves in it. But let’s be honest: most forms of love we know are very conditional.

How many times people say:

I love you… but think: as she/he does what I want, or if she/he leaves me my whole existence collapses.

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This is what ACIM calls a special relationship—the kind of love the ego adores. Why? Because it’s a contract: You fill my emptiness, and I’ll fill yours.

A special relationship is one where we expect something from the other person to make us happy. We believe we are incomplete, and the other is the missing puzzle piece. It’s classic Disney romance: prince meets princess, and suddenly everything is perfect, until he forgets your birthday or says a wrong word.

The problem with a special relationship is that it creates dependency. It says: I am not whole without you. And that might sound romantic, but it’s actually terrifying. Because what happens when the other person changes, stops meeting your needs, or—worse—leaves? Exactly. The love suddenly vanishes.

ACIM puts it bluntly:

“All ego love is special. Because the ego itself wants to be special. It believes love is scarce, that you must earn it, and that it can be taken away.”

In other words: special love is like a cookie you only get if you behave.

But what if love wasn’t a cookie, but simply the air you breathe? And what if love had no conditions? What if love wasn’t a trade but simply… was?

An unconditional relationship—often called a holy relationship in A Course in Miracles—is one where you don’t need anyone to complete you. Instead, you see the other person as a companion, not as a savior or possession.

This doesn’t mean you become distant or indifferent. On the contrary! Unconditional love is the most free and genuine form of love there is. You don’t need anything from the other person to feel whole, so you can actually see them as they are—without demands, without fear, without the terror of loss.

ACIM describes it like this:

“The holy relationship is the shift from seeing another as a way to fulfill your own needs, to seeing them as an extension of love.”

Sounds great, but how does that work in real life?

Notice when you’re projecting expectations onto someone else. For example:

-He should say ‘I love you’ more often. (Oh really? Why?)

-If she really cared about me, she would never…” (Are you sure about that?)

Ask yourself: Do I want to be right, or do I want to be free?

Unconditional love means loving someone as they are, not as you want them to be. This doesn’t mean you accept everything that doesn’t resonate with you. It means you allow the other person to be themselves—without making your happiness dependent on it.

If you want to experience unconditional love, be that love. Not as a sacrifice, but as a choice. Love someone without fear. Give without expecting anything in return. And yes, that’s scary. Because the ego screams: “But what if I get hurt?!”…guess what? That risk is always there. The difference is that in an unconditional relationship, love can’t disappear—because it was never based on conditions in the first place.

Unconditional love doesn’t mean staying where you aren’t happy. It means finding love within yourself so you no longer depend on someone else to feel complete.

Because love is not a deal. It is who you are.

With love and light,

G.